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dean xuereb lit a candle
Thursday, July 22, 2010
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Mom Service Eulogy
When most people think of home, the first thought is of our mother. The mother is the foundation of comfort, the supplier of food, of praise, of warmth, of love. Mom was always the one who bandaged our bloody knees and who knew what our favorite cookies were.
As we grew older, maybe we didn†™t appreciate our mother†™s involvement as much. But, as adults, many of us grew to realize what special and wonderful people our mothers are.
For those of you with us today, my mother touched you in many ways through her strength, compassion, and everlasting commitment to life. All mother really wanted was life; living was her only really true desire, for she had a lifetime of complications that remain silent to most.
Family and Friends, Welcome
Vera Patricia Connolly born on December 8, 1944 in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia to Patrick and Clara Connolly arrived to Ontario at the age of 19. It was not too long after; she met my father, Bernard after being introduced by my Uncle Joe and Aunt Mary.
My mother and father have been together almost 45 years, but in 1967 her only natural child, James Dean was brought into the world. Go figure, †œJames Dean†� try explaining that over the years?? But James was given to me after her adored uncle James or commonly nicknamed Jimpsy.
I†™ve only really known mom as a women who enjoyed life while trying to survive complicated heart surgeries to replace aorta valves damaged by Rheumatic fever as a child. This is why we consider my mother to be a †œMiracle Mother†�. As far back as 20 years, we thought we would lose mother to this condition, but her determination and will to live proved even world renowned surgeons wrong.
Mom was a lifelong homemaker, providing the essentials while I learned to live and father worked. She gave us warm meals every day, support for our sorrows, cheers at hockey games, and strength through her battle to survive. Mom made sure dinner was prepared each day as we were fortunate to have father arrive home routinely from work. She commonly said, †œDon†™t ever tell me you†™re too sick for school unless you cannot walk to the bus for I would love to be healthy enough to do half of what you can do. Be grateful you can be healthy enough to choose your destiny as sometimes it is health that chooses it for us.†�
Our family consisting of half sisters and brothers gave us dynamics many families will never encounter but through strategic family tree management, we were able to connect all the dots with love and admiration. My mother loved and enjoyed everyone equally and without prejudice. I would like to thank the entire family for keeping mother updated on pictures of recent newborns, adolescence accomplishments and holiday celebrations. It wasn†™t until Linda came to live with us in Toronto did I get the real †œsister†� experience. The concept of sharing now came into effect, as I suddenly learned what a girl can do to your privacy, surroundings and most all the bathroom. Luckily, she soon went off to College and her own apartment.
We spent most of our weekends and summers visiting our family in Beamsville, taking advantage of the fresh country air, including my favorite scent, manure. It was this experience that convinced my parents to leave the urban setting and relocate to this small village when I was 15 yrs old. As many of you know, we have been involved in horse racing for many decades and this move gave my parents opportunity to enjoy being close to stables at my Uncles farm.
What you don†™t know is that we purchased a fruit farm. Now picture this, urban dwellers suddenly becoming soft fruit farmers?? So as we were trying to learn the craft of growing, caring and harvesting grapes, my father said, †œgo over to the neighbour†™s and learn how to do this†�. The Myer†™s graciously took me aside and gave me a few simple instructions, which I am sure to this day had Bill Myers shaking his head. As my father commuted daily to Toronto for work, it was mother and I who became farmers. I was astonished how mom took to the fields and prepared fruit for market. Little did I know that an incredible life long relationship would be formed between mother, Carolyn Myers and Barbara Brion. This blossomed into weekly card games amongst friends as mother loved to play cards and as many of you have witnessed, when the cards came out, so did her excitement.
Mother also took up the art of flea marketing, as we went each Sunday to Jordan to participate in the Flea Market. Mom provided all of Lincoln County with fashionable wardrobes for Cabbage Patch Kids. These became so popular that droves of people were either coming to the house or placing orders for her to prepare. Mom was also an avid knitter until she was unable to endure the amount of time it took to produce the handcrafted sweaters, hats and mittens.
Her journey to Fort Erie travelled through St.Catharines, where a number of years were spent residing in a condominium overlooking the city. These are also the years which mom met and came to trust her new Cardiologist, Dr. Mackette. Mom believed in the decisions Dr. Mackette put forth for her and even in her dying moments, mom knew that she was receiving the best medical decisions possible. During the years in St.Catharines, mother remained a feisty, spirited woman who always made sure she was treated fairly. I remember one time the Condominium taxes were raised and mother was furious. She vowed to fight this as father laughed but mom took her tax bill and went to the St.Catharines court house to fight what she saw as †œunjustified†� increase. Well she came back with lower taxes, a winning smile dad†™s $20 wager with mom.
The journey to Fort Erie brought mother and father to their current residence and close enough to enjoy the horses at Fort Erie Raceway. My mother loved the excitement and spirit of horse racing, betting and the discovery of Slot Machines. I would have to confess for contributing to her mild addition of casino gambling, but mother was determined to prove that the casino was paying their 5% share. Even mom†™s presence in the stable had the horses stirring with anticipation that they may receive a mint or caramel.
During this time, I met my wife Jasmine, and together with Lianna and Jesika we formed a bond with mother that gave her strength and happiness. Mother loved being involved in our wedding, as she knew family would once be together to witness the marriage of her only son. Mom continuously bragged about her new family, especially staying in contact with Lianna and Jesika as she never missed a birthday or special occasion. Mom loved to spend time with Jasmine, regretting that she would have loved more quality time. I can assure you that within the heavens, our mom†™s are now together providing spiritual guidance to our families.
I however was fortunate to have spent a lifetime with mom, a lifetime seemly too short but equally grateful to have been extended by her shear will to survive. As mom spent a lifetime in and out of hospitals, we found a way to give her the support she needed. Special thanks to all of our family for also giving mom the will to survive, calling her daily, visiting hospitals, and preparing her favorite cup of tea. Yes, modern medicine did give her the opportunity to survive but her strength, determination and will to survive was the real reason mother lived. I firmly believe she did live to the best of her ability and with my father at her side. My father has unconditionally provided all the support for mother during sickness and health, taking her hundreds if not thousands of times to physicians at offices and hospitals.
My mom left this life to start a new one. She was content in her final moments that our family would support one another through the grieving period, for she knew we must grieve. But mother unselfishly reminded me to be strong and celebrate the all the moments we spent together. She knew father would get the support needed from many and her son was surrounded by a beautiful family. At her side until her final breath, she was comforted and relieved that her suffering would not continue and the promise that her wishes would be respected.
This is my †œMiracle Mom†�
My Miracle Mother
Mom, I look at you
and see a walking miracle.
Your unfailing love without limit,
your ability to soothe my every hurt,
the way you are on duty, unselfishly,
every hour, every day,
makes me so grateful
that I am yours, and you are mine.
With open arms and open heart,
with enduring patience and inner strength,
you gave so much for me,
sometimes at your expense.
You are my teacher,
my comforter, my encourager,
appreciating all, forgiving all.
Sometimes I took you for granted, Mom,
but I don†™t now, and I never will again.
I know that everything I am today
relates to you and your loving care.
I gaze in wonder
as I watch you being you†�
my miracle, my mother
J
Jasmine posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
To a loving mother, friend.
Pat you have been a mother and a grandmother to us over the last 10 years the only one since my own mother has passed away. Your sheer determination in life through all your hardships reminds me what is truly important. I thank you for the many memories you have given us, ones that will stay always close to my heart, and most of all I thank you for your son.
Loving you always
Jasmine
E
Ed and Karin Newell posted a condolence
Monday, July 19, 2010
We are so sorry for your loss and our thoughts are with you at this time. We will miss Pat's kindness and her gentle laugh. Her courage is an inspiration to all of us
L
Lisa McTrivish (Brion) posted a condolence
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Bernie, So sorry to hear of the loss of your wife, she was a great lady although I didn't see much of her after you moved from Beamsville, I could always count on her Christmas card in my mailbox. Usually the first to arrive. My thoughts are with you.
Dean, So sorry for your loss of your mother.
Take care
Lisa McTrivish (Brion)
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